The story of 'Santa Crack'

My recent post about getting locked out of the house while trying to teach my son Joseph a lesson, has gotten a few people to mention 'Santa Crack,' one of my most humbling experiences of my life. Those comments got another friend to ask about 'Santa Crack.' So here is the story...

The story of 'Santa Crack' by Adam Wright
A true story. This should not be attempted with out the proper supervision of a professional. Any resemblance's of real people is not accidental, for this story is real.

Several years ago, when I was working in Union and still doing news, the local Radio Shack had a live broadcast from their store on a weekday a week or two before Christmas. They had someone lined up to play Santa with the idea of having Santa at their store to attract Moms with children under five. The Radio Shack Santa called that morning and was unable to fulfill his duties. The sales rep for the account, Karen Vogt, came to me in a panic that morning asking that I fill in as Santa.

Well I was talked into being Santa. After getting done with my news gathering for the day I went and got the Santa suit. Well the person who was lined up to play Santa was a much smaller than I was and the suit was not only going to not go on over my clothes like I had hoped, it was going to be a bit tight.

So I ran home and dressed in the Santa suit and headed back to the store. Needless to say, I probable already scared some of the kids when they saw Santa pull up to Radio Shack in a Toyota Camry.

Once getting into Radio Shack the sales rep Karen and my wife Sara Beth started laughing and just couldn't control themselves. Apparently, the Santa suit, which we knew was too small, had been showing my 'crack' to anyone and everyone through the course of the morning. So goes the story of 'Santa Crack.'

But this is not the end of the story. I had to leave a few minutes early because I needed to be back to the station to do the Noon Report. I walked out of the Radio Shack at 11:50 in the morning with just enough time to go home and change and get back to the radio station, and I discover that because the Santa suit had no pockets, I had set my keys down in the car and locked it. And this was one of those unseasonable warm December days in South Carolina and the temp was about 85 degrees. So I go back into the Radio Shack and have to get Karen to drive me back to the station. Without my keys, I had no way to get into the house to change my clothes. By this time, my wife had to gone on to school in Spartanburg and was not able to get me back into the house.

In Union, South Carolina, the local police department will unlock your car doors in situations like this. So I called the police and was told they wouldn't be able to unlock my car until three or four that afternoon. So here I am, doing the Noon report at WBCU, in the Main Street Studio, where everyone walking down the street can see me in my Santa suit and at the right angle can see my crack.

After the Noon Report was done, I get talked into going to eat at a Mexican restaurant for lunch. So here we are having lunch and me dressed up as Santa and my crack showing at the local Mexican restaurant. While we're having lunch, a lady and her daughter between the ages of two and four comes into the restaurant. The little girl starts crying and I have to explain to the girl that I'm not really Santa and that I was just pretending. The little girl has probable been traumatized ever since.

Later in the day, I get a call from the police, I need to go down to Radio Shack because they have a policy that won't allow them to get into a car without the owner signing a release saying you won't bring any complaints against them if they damage your car while trying to get it unlocked. So here I am, standing in the Radio Shack parking lot, talking to police while wearing a Santa suit and showing crack. I'm just lucky to not have been arrested for possession of crack.

And that, my friends, is the story of 'Santa Crack.'
AJ